Rant2

Can you picture the scene...?

Sleepy Somerset village on a sleepy Tuesday afternoon.

Afternoon school run... Bus rolls up into the designated pull-in, but can't get in tidily because a
STUPID car is already sitting there. Opposite the pull-in, some new scaffolding has appeared.

Yes, it's 3.15pm. Bus BANG ON TIME. But... NO KIDS. Mmmmmm... not much room in the
road now in this sleepy little Somerset village. Arrrrrrggggghhhh - HUGE tractor bearing down
from behind!!! Can't get past...Oh God, that farmer looks like he EATS bus drivers for
breakfast. Heck - hide. No... Drive away... Arrrrrgggghhhh - can't go yet, no kids (I sold
LOADS of returns for this run this morning!)...
What to do...??!!?

Well, let's cut a long story short - bus bottles it and drives on a bit, to the top of the road, near where the school actually is. Phew!
Tractor got past. (I'm still alive!) STILL NO KIDS - should have gone 10mins ago. (Arrrrgggghhhhh! Old ladies waiting for the now very
late bus in Wellington for the next trip with their STICKS waving and poised to do something nasty to the driver.) Think...THINK!!
What to do... WHAT TO DO??! I KNOW! Walk down to the school to see what's happened.

Bus driver asks very meekly:
"Any DEAR sweet children for my bus today?" (Parent points towards a little ally)
"They went that way"
NOOOOOOOO...! After them! (Bus driver heads off ON FOOT towards the very pull-in where the kids SHOULD have been in the first
place) He's done a complete circuit now.

Puff - pant! Driver finds kids. Little voice pipes up:

"Yers the bus driver - but WHERE'S THE BUS??" (Gleeful screeches and giggles from the BIGGEST hoard of primary school kids
ever, all very excitable)

Oh God - the kids are down here and the bus is up there. Puff - pant! Bus driver sets off at a trot (not something bus drivers are
renowned for) towards the bus, actually in pursuit of haggard, hassled teacher who is also heading towards the bus, and can now
not understand why she can't find a driver in there. Bus driver catches up with hassled teacher.

Puff - pant!
"Shall I reverse it back?" he asks pathetically. Back goes the empty bus, scattering frightened locals in all directions. Beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep... CHAOS! Bus now 15mins late.

It's just lucky that our HEROIC driver was an ex-teacher of some 18 years experience (teaching, that is). He takes control! He saves
the day!! There's nothing quite like a good bit of OLD FASHIONED, VINTAGE British FARCE!

Now can you see why SENSIBLE bus drivers keep their hair short? It's either that, or end up pulling large lumps of it out by the
handful.