yourbusstop.com - The Livingstone Luvvie

"THWACK!" Is the sound that ensues when a tightly furled magazine, propelled with force
from a great height, comes crashing into a bald cranium. "YIKES!" Is the sound that emits
from my throat when the cranium is mine, jolting me rather un-ceremoniously from my
pleasant reverie involving superlatives & adjectives namely -beach, caressing, ice cubes,
paradise, maidens, ocean, lapping, drinks etc...

The voice of my boss then boomed out, addressing nobody in particular, "Here's the man,
ideal for the task" prodding me with the aforementioned infernal magazine, "this man could
whinge for Britain! If he hasn't moaned about it, it ain't worth mentioning!"

The boss, who bore an eerie resemblance to 'On the Buses' Stephen "I'll get you Butler"
Lewis - only uglier and thinner. So thin that his adam's apple entered a room almost two
seconds before the rest of him, he could well have been the love-child of Charles Hawtrey and
Pat Coombs! He continued his vitriolic attack on me, "Listen up 'Scrote', I am about to give
you the opportunity to claim your place in history, to go to your resting place as a fulfilled
soul worshipped by millions."

"What are you talking about?" I boldly enquired.

"I am setting up a website 'Scrote' and for no charge whatsoever, I will allow you space on this for you to, on a regular basis, give
vent to your whingeing prowess. No more will you have to stifle your feelings about things, people & injustices that PEES YOO
ORFF - your hatred can be melded into a force for good, "Geeks United", imagine, there must be millions of feeble-brained
'Scrotes' like yourself out there, waiting for leadership.

You will complete this work during your own time, including tea-breaks, lunchtimes, any days off and holidays (should you be
fool-hardy enough to request them). Illness whilst engaged on this project, will not be tolerated!

"I, naturally enough, will peruse all text you submit and will have the power of veto should I deem it unsuitable and that includes
any article whereby, you have sarcastically alluded, in a non-complimentary manner, to my goodself, my wrath will know no
bounds. Although why you should contemplate such a heinous crime baffles me!"

At that point his fingers which had been gripping my shoulder suddenly morphed into vice-like pincers and with a great flamboyant
swirl he brought the still tightly furled down upon my bald and crimson pate, he then quickly released my shoulder and strode out
bellowing:-

"Not open for discussion 'Scrote', think creatively, I shall return!"

I wasn't going to let this 'evil shit' get away with treating me like that, no sir-ree - I had my self respect to maintain - so, just as the
'evil shit' disappearred down the corridor. I put my hand under the table forming my fingers into a reversed V-sign vigorously &
viciously, gestured at the space just vacated by the 'evil shit'.

Feeling somewhat smug following my incisive riposte, I gave some thought to the 'evil shit's website', this could be a wonderful
opportunity for me to rid myself of a great deal of pent up emotions, especially as the World is being over-run and ruled by
morons. Time us 'schizophrenic, psycopathic, gun-toting necrophiliacs clad only in open toed sandals and bobble hats finally had
a voice, now is the hour!!

Firstly, my mission will be to 'prick the balloon of pomposity', 'topple the pedestals of the talentless', 'humiliate the powerful,
wealthy* and that wonderfully patriotic species known as 'The Tax Avoidance Clan', there will be no hiding place for these
exploiters and ne'er-do-wells!

So watch this space and be prepared to be astounded as the 'Gossamer film of British respectability is torn asunder to reveal the
seething mass of sleaze and corruption!!', or failing that you might be privvy to some naughty swear words!

THE LIVINGSTONE LUVVIE IS BORN AND HE IS NOT GOING AWAY!!!!

*Wealthy people who wish to purchase this website for vast sums of loot will, naturally enough, be portrayed only in the nicest of
terms.

Thought of the week.

At what stage would computer technology be had Bill Gates looked like George Clooney?

Chuck to Bill:- "Hey Bill, you coming down to the garage? The guys and I are going to try and figure out how to operate that
Sinclair calculator."
Bill to Chuck:- "Tough call Chuck but I've promised to help out the girl's relay team, they're having trouble gripping their batons!"